I read a very sad article.
Its about a young lady who found her identity in her purity. She was a christian and at the young age of 10 she vowed to save her virginity for her husband. She had people in the church telling her to do so and what would happen to her marriage if she didn't.
"I was told over and over again, so many times I lost count, that if I
remained pure, my marriage would be blessed by God and if I didn’t that
it would fall apart and end in tragic divorce."
"An unhealthy mixture of pride, fear, and guilt helped me keep my pledge until we got married."
She eventually got married after being with her boyfriend for 6 years. She didn't enjoy their wedding night because she was taught her whole life that sex is dirty and disgraceful. When they got back from their honeymoon she was so ashamed that she couldn't look people in the eye.
"My virginity had become such an essential part of my personality that I didn’t know who I was without it.
It didn’t get better. I avoided undressing in front of my husband. I
tried not to kiss him too often or too amorously so I wouldn’t lead him
on. I dreaded bedtime. Maybe he’d want to have sex.
When he did, I obliged. I wanted nothing more than to make him happy
because I loved him so much and because I’d been taught it was my duty
to fulfill his needs. But I hated sex."
She was in an identity crisis.What she prided herself in was now lost. She made her identity in her purity.
"I was so completely ashamed of my body and my sexuality that it made having sex a demoralizing experience."
What happened to her is very sad. But what stuck out to me the most was that she lost her relationship with God through all of this. Rather than it being between her and God it became a church issue. She had so much pressure to remain pure that when she lost it she no longer felt special.
We need to love each other. We need to be sensitive to each others difficulties. To guilt someone into not sinning may work for now but in the long run it will cause major rebellion and bitterness towards God.
"...let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” John 8:7
No comments:
Post a Comment